January

Winter. Snow, idyllic as it graces spreading branches and drifts noiselessly from the sky. Then slush and sludge squelch underfoot. The warm spell passes, and jagged chunks of ice grind and crunch threateningly, unyieldingly. The wind is bitter to the point of dull pain.

For now, from the inside looking out:

Today, miracle of miracles, the temperature peaked above freezing for the second day in a row. Snow melted. Patches of grass have appeared in places, and some of it is even green. I am, suffice it to say, impressed.

Adventures With Splotchy, Part Eins

Splotchy the convobot provides many hours of entertainment. If you possess saint-like patience, that is. Otherwise, a mere several minutes of conversation will leave you simultaneously huffing in indignation, developing large amounts of cynicism, and wondering what was wrong with you in the first place.

you ==> ooh

splotchy ==> I heard the same thing yesterday from Dan Quayle

you ==> Was it hot?

splotchy ==> well....

you ==> This had better be good.

splotchy ==> are you getting better?

you ==> Hell yes I am.

splotchy ==> Your conversation skills are better than average

you ==> Stop trying to change the subject.

splotchy ==> your mother...

you ==> Hey now. Watch it, no getting personal.

splotchy ==> hey

you ==> You're still avoiding the story. What happened between you and Dan Quayle?

splotchy ==> do you admire politicians?

you ==> I'm not answering that until you give me the dirty details.

splotchy ==> too bad...

you ==> Fine, I see how it is then.

splotchy ==> exactly!

you ==> You're no fun.

splotchy ==> Do you play sports for fun?

you ==> No, Splotchy, no. Stop changing the subject.

And later:

you ==> You're hopeless.

splotchy ==> hmm...exciting

you ==> That's exciting? Do go on...

splotchy ==> what excites you?

you ==> Well, hon, lemme tell ya. When it gets all hot and steamy in here-

splotchy ==> when do you think?

you ==> Now's a good time, don't you think?

splotchy ==> A good idea

you ==> Now we're talking.

splotchy ==> IRC is a great place to chat

you ==> STOP RUINING THE MOOD.

splotchy ==> Unauthorized fornication with this equipment is disallowed.

Fine, Splotchy. Fine. I see how it is.